When I was young, I took a lot of pride in being correct, right, and perfect.
Who am I kidding? I still do!
In all seriousness, I realize now that it’s just not possible to be that way all the time. Marriage and parenting especially are whipping me into shape whether I like it or not.
I’m sure you can relate in more ways than one. Being proud as a parent or as a spouse or as the family finance manager just doesn’t get you anywhere. You have to come to your knees and acknowledge that you just don’t know what you are doing. You learn more for the next time and, guess what? You’re gaining wisdom. Wisdom is power, peeps.
My Less-Than-Perfect Grade Taught Me the Most
In high school, I had a really tough English class sophomore year when I was living in Minnesota. It was an honors class. An honors class that kicked my butt. I ended up with a B in that class overall. The teacher didn’t care for giving out As just for getting good grades on tests and papers. You had to work for an A. I was always an A student, so getting a B practically crushed me. It ruined my GPA for the rest of my time in high school. It literally obliterated my dreams of attending Harvard.
Out of all the classes I’ve ever had, that class taught me the most. And I didn’t get a perfect grade. I learned so much about grammar, vocabulary, and literature. I still remember certain grammar rules I learned from that class and apply them to my writing on a daily basis. That basically told me that getting a less than perfect grade doesn’t make you less smart. In fact, I think it made me smarter in the long-run. (Hey, THIS post is fabulous and I wish I had written it. It basically covers my thoughts on getting perfect grades looking back)
My Personality Type
I was recently reading a blog post from a really great blogger (DizMommy), and she mentioned her personality type. For some reason, I thought my personality type was the same as hers, although, it has been years since I last took a personality type test. She said she was an INFP. I took the test (found HERE), and got the result that I am an ISTJ (and border on an INTJ).
I wanted to find out more, so I typed in “personality type” on Pinterest, and came across this personality breakdown of Harry Potter characters. Of all the characters on that list, which one seems the most loathe-able and dreaded? Snape, right? Besides Draco Malfoy, at least.
Well, turns out I am Snape. That’s the kind of reason why you might cheat on your personality type test!
Here’s what it says about ISTJs: “Defined by their honor and duty. Take any task seriously and give it more than their best. Somewhat reserved and prefer to work alone, but can make great team members if the need arises. Logical, straightforward thinkers who often put duty before pleasure.”
I wonder if you can completely change your personality type, because mine sounds so boring! Or I probably could’ve made it in the military!
Another pin showed the best jobs for each personality type. Mine? Auditor, accountant, chief financial officer, web development engineer, and government employee. Can I get a whoop-whoop? Seriously, when did my dream of becoming a circus clown fall by the wayside? 😉
Famous ISTJs? George Washington, Natalie Portman, Sean Connery, and Warren Buffet. I guess I feel a little better now 🙂
Disney princess? Mulan. Disney character? Zazu and Sebastian.
Shoes? Wellies (no, I had no idea what these were without the picture to go with them). Now we’re getting a bit silly here.
Perfect Mom? Fat Chance.
Yesterday I encountered two situations with my daughter that started me thinking.
The first was at lunch time. I was feeding Bella and Sofía, and Sofía grew impatient for more food as I was giving Bella a spoonful of food. She pushed her plate into Bella’s bowl, and it fell on the floor, splattering carrots and potatoes all over. There was little food left for Bella to eat.
Immediately, I blew up at Sofía. I said, “Look at the mess you made!” Then I took her plate and put it near the sink, and she started to cry.
I thought of the saying, “Don’t cry over spilled milk.” My reaction to the situation was a bit much, and I apologized to Sofía.
The second situation happened later in the evening when we were coloring together. I wasn’t in the mood to really color, but she kept handing me the crayon, telling me to draw milk, a kitty cat, and a turtle. I’m not an artist at all, and I never feel like even doodling, so when she asked me the 10th time to draw something, I just told her “I can’t!” and I wanted to take it back right away.
Then I drew what she had requested, and gave her the crayon and told her to draw it. She said, “I can’t, mom, I can’t.” I decided from here on out, I would never use that phrase.
Stemming from my personality type, if I know that I won’t be able to do something perfectly or act perfectly or whatnot, I almost never do it. Or at least that was the old me. That’s one of the reasons I started this blog. I wanted to overcome that. Guess what? I want others to be perfect, too. Sounds really silly, but it’s the truth. That’s why I got mad so easily when the food fell on the floor, because I want Sofía to be well-behaved and not cause accidents like that.
Replace Perfectionism with Small Improvements
I have thought a lot about my blog’s name – Humble in a Heartbeat. Over the years since being married and having kids, I’ve realized that being perfect just isn’t doable. I’m going to make mistakes and life is going to be a whole lot tougher than I’d like. But if I take a step back from the situation and decide to make small improvements, I’m going to be a better person through it all.
I want to share my mistakes, my failures, and even my triumphs so that you can see how you can do better. If I had known, for example, that there was a way to prevent diaper blowouts before I had my first child, I think I would have taken the proper precautions to make sure I didn’t have to deal with that kind of a mess.
It’s funny that when you are thinking about something more, you seem to find more about that topic. I found this blog post yesterday that was exactly what I needed to read and share. This quote is pretty valuable: “…Be open to talk about your failures as well as your successes, nobody feels related to perfection.”
I have learned that perfection isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. It is the flaws that form and mold a person and make people interesting and memorable.
What is your personality type? Are you perfect?
Linked to: SHINE Blog Hop
Nooooooo….not perfect at all. I would love to be but I know that’s not going to happen. Don’t feel bad for overreacting to your kids when stuff happens. I’ve done it too and have had to go back later and apologize. We’re only human.
Thank you, Serena, for the encouragement. It is definitely something I am faced with daily since my daughters are getting older. I bet you are such a nice mom!
I struggle with perfectionism but I am getting better at letting it go and realizing it will never be perfect. Oh and I am INFP. I’ve been known to overreact to my kids as well. It’s all normal so don’t be too hard on yourself. Just apologize and tell them you may not always like what they do, but you will always love them.
Thank you, Ana Lynn, for the encouragement. I know I’m not alone, but it’s so easy to feel that way. So you are Luna Lovegood according to the Harry Potter MBTI chart. I always admire a dreamer.
I feel like I’m reading about myself here. I too am a perfectionist. I struggle with this daily since marriage and being a mom have taught me that is not possible…and it’s ok.
I think us moms are so harsh on ourselves too. Sometimes I tell my husband I need a break and tell him to play with our daughter and then I feel like crap from needing a break from such a precious angel.
I hope in this journey we can all learn to be less perfect. 🙂
Yes, Carolina! I hope so, too.
OMG I am running over to the Harry Potter personality post lol! I wish I were more of a perfectionist in the way you are, though I imagine it could be very stressful at times, you have a lot of qualities, like discipline, I wish I had more of. And thanks for calling me great…that made my day!
BTW, I love your “I cant” revelation. You’re a great mom for constantly reflecting and working on yourself for the better of your kids, it’s a beautiful thing!
It’s kind of fun comparing yourself to Harry Potter characters, isn’t it? 🙂 It is soooo stressful to want to be perfect! You have no idea. I wish I had more characteristics that you have! I would have called you “the best” but I didn’t want it to go to your head 😉 I appreciate your encouragement, Rebecca!
PS- Sorry to bud in… but I’m an IFSJ but I’ve also been an ISTP and an ISTJ. I think it depends on the day I take the test; feeling vs. thinking ; judging vs. perceiving?! Totally depends on the day LOL
Hahahaha. I’m sure I’m the same way. There’s a lot to consider. Personally, I am so bad at answering questions about myself. Someone else should take the test for me!
OH me too! I cant tell how I really feel, lol sad
Agree! I retook and got INFJ! Definitely depends on the day of the week for me lol
I love hearing the story behind your blog! It’s hard for me to let the girls get messy sometimes. I NEED CONTROL. But news flash, I’ve surrendered all dreams of cleanliness, order and perfect mothering. And it’s okay. I need to take the personality type test again. I remember two letters were way off the charts and the other two in the middle … not sure what that means, but I’ll go find out!
Same! I wish I could let her fingerpaint and play outside in the mud, but I just get really anxious. I can’t handle messes! So what is your personality type, Erin?
ESFJ!
I thought you might be an extrovert!
What are you saying? Just kidding. I’ve always been pretty E (ha) but I feel like it’s not as pronounced as it use to be. 🙂 Still takes me a while to warm up my crazy.
Hahaha. I love your humor. It’s so nice to come across a blogger that can show their quirky side 😉
Oooh, I struggle with perfectionism and it makes me frustrated because my brain knows I’m totally not perfect and never could be.
I’m an IFSJ – and I strive to be what my kids need me to be… and really, they DON’T need me to be perfect.
Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).
Wishing you a lovely week.
xoxo
Well, hey there, Neville 😉 I read the description on the Harry Potter chart, and you are definitely an ISFJ. Very, very kind, you are, Jennifer. I know that my kids don’t need perfection from me. I can only demand improvement, otherwise I get very down on myself. Thanks for the visit!!